Nice Pic With New Camera..

For so long time, I like to take photo. Since I was knew what camera is... All of my shots are nice to see ( I think ), unfortunately all the cameras are not mine. DAMN!

Now I got my own, I'm so happy with it.. I can press the shutter whenever I like, even when I'm laying on my bed.. I mean mattress because I don't really have proper BED. Sad enough...

Weird for cameraman or photographer, among 100 snaps they took, only 3 snaps are their pictures. haha my principle is the more you take photo of yourself, the more your beauty and handsomeness will FADE... hahaha

These are among the snaps I took..
This is close up mode... tak cukup bling-bling la.....


Venue : at flyover SIMPANG 3
Method : one of my first BULB method

First Post of the Year 2011

It has been a long time I didn't write any post.. a word sorry enough for you all. hehehe

For this new year, I got new hobby.. maybe I would to share in this blog. For sure this blog will rojak2 sampai you all pening...

Ooo.. ya.. back to the HOBBY..
In 2010 (feel like century), I bought a DSLR camera for myself at RM2,488. Canon EOS 500D that his name.. since that, I like to snap its shutter anytime I like. Blindly use the camera without study or get expertise.. haha At the beginning, I only use AUTOMATIC MODE. So damn AUTOMATIC.. some pics are nice, but some pics are FUCKED! hahahaha

Since I'm a quick genius learner, I manage to learn and start my HOBBY happly with MANUAL MODE.. so, bye-bye AUTOMATIC........ haha

12 Ways To Know That You Love Someone

TWELVE:
You talk with him/her late at night and when you go to bed you still think of him/her.

ELEVEN:
You walk really slowly when you are with him/her.

TEN:
You don't feel Ok when he/she is far away.

NINE:
You smile when you hear his/her voice.

EIGHT:
When you look at him/her,you do not see other people around you.You see only him/her.

SIX:
He/She is everything you want to think.

FIVE:
You realise that you smile every time you look at him/her.

FOUR:
You would do anything to see him/her.

THREE:
While you have been reading this, there was a person in your mind all the time.

TWO:
You've been so busy thinking of that person that you didn't notice that number SEVEN is missing.

ONE:
You are going to check above if that's true and now you are silently laughing to yourself.

p/s: guess what is inside SEVEN???

Letter from SARDARJI TO MR. BILL GATES OF MICROSOFT

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

Re:Problems with my new computer

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.


1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you
to check this.

2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he
ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we
can click that by sitting.

3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only
're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the
door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button, but was
unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

5. My child learnt ' Microsoft word ' now he wants to learn ' Microsoft
sentence', so when you will provide that?

6. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon
which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?

7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a
single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

8. There is ' MICROSOFT OFFICE ' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the
PC at home only.

9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past
Documents'?

10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My
Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office
hours.

Last one to Mr Bill Gates :

Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?

Best regards,

SARDARJI SINGH,

EIGHTYNINE MACHINERY TRDG S/B

p/s: Bill Gates, jangan marah ye...

Civil Servant...

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies, "Yes - coffee." "Have you ever been in the military service? "Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for two years." The interviewer says,"That will give you 5 extra points towards employment." Then he asks,"Are you disabled in any way?" The guy says,"Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles." The interviewer grimaces and then says, "O.K. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 A.M. To 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow from 10:00AM every day." The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., why do you want me to start here from10:00 A.M.?" "This is a government job," the inter-viewer says, "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point you coming in for that." p/s: yesss.... that is normal in gov office nowadays.. some sorts of working culture in Malaysia including me laaa...except for SCRATCHING balls. hehe

What Makes A Malaysian A Malaysian?

1. A typical young Malaysian can name all the players from a top English Premier League club, but ask him to name one football player from Malaysia, he cannot!

2. When StreamyX come, you complain StreamyX too slow. When Maxis Broadband come, you complain Maxis Broadband always disconnects. When WiMax come, you complain Wimax too expensive. In the end, you say StreamyX still the best lah.

3. When highway toll price increase, you complain. When petrol price increase, you complain. When you go Starbucks buy RM10 coffee, NO COMPLAINTS.

4. When you cannot find parking in a shopping mall and have to walk very far, you complain. When you go inside the shopping mall and there's SALE, run from one end of 1Utama to the other, that one NO COMPLAINT.

5. You are always late. And the excuse you give when you're late is always either: (a) traffic jam (b) no transport or (c) cannot find parking.

6. You have a parent who forces you to take science stream in high school, study engineering in Uni, then when you graduate, they ask you to forget everything you learnt in Uni and do commerce.

7. You know someone who can specially develop an angmoh accent when speaking to an American / British / Australian.

8. You complain against the government in kopitiam, you talk loud loud. Leave anonymous comments on blogs, you also talk loud loud. Attend ceremah by DAP, you shout loud loud. Then when Opposition organise a protest and ask you to go, you dun wan. Scared later kena tangkap by ISA.

9. Every year on the 30th April, you are one of the people below queuing up last minute to submit your tax return at the IRB.

10. When you pay RM10 for something that costs RM1, you blame the Chinese.

11. When a government service is too slow, you blame the Malays.

12. When a building is not good and collapsed, you blame the Indians.

13. When a Chinese student won a scholarship, you say 'Wah! Very clever hor?' When a Malay student won a scholarship, you say 'Aiya! Of course lah! He Malay mah!'

14. When an angmoh stranger kisses you on the cheek to say hello, you very happy. When a Malaysian guy kisses you on the cheek to say hello, you slap him in face.

15. When you want to say REVERSE, you say GOSTAN...

16. When drive on the double carriage way, KEEP LEFT..but Malaysian keep slow at the RIGHT. WTF!!

Management Course...

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."


After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.


The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.

"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"



Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prev! ent avoidable exposure.



Lesson 2:


A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forc! ing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest removed! his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.!
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.



Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says! the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, w! ithout a care in the world."
Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."

Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."


Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4


An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.




Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree" sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.


Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..



Lesson 6


A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him..

As the fro! zen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, t! he cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

Stresssss Management!

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience,
Raised a glass of water and asked;
'How heavy is this glass of water?'

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.'

He continued,
'And that's the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
As the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
We won't be able to carry on. '

'As with the glass of water,
You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.
When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.'
'So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you're carrying now,
Let them down for a moment if you can.'
So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right n ow. Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.

No Condom!!!

Alasan laki tu...punya la banyak!! respect sama lu la. hahaha

nice excuses, creatively make me wondering....

True or False

Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false?



1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.



2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.



3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every
10 years.



4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.



5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!



6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.



7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.



8. Babies are born without kneecaps.
They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.



9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.



10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.



11. The average housefly lives for one month.



12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.



13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.



14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.



15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.



16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.



17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to
search for water.



18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without
turning their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.



19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie."



20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State Anthem.



21. Most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.



22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the
same airplane, just in case there is a crash.



23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato
can for a carburetor.



24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from
women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery.



25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.



26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green. Would it then be called Greenola?



Answers below...
TRUE OR FALSE
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ALL ARE TRUE........ .think about # 16