12 Ways To Know That You Love Someone

TWELVE:
You talk with him/her late at night and when you go to bed you still think of him/her.

ELEVEN:
You walk really slowly when you are with him/her.

TEN:
You don't feel Ok when he/she is far away.

NINE:
You smile when you hear his/her voice.

EIGHT:
When you look at him/her,you do not see other people around you.You see only him/her.

SIX:
He/She is everything you want to think.

FIVE:
You realise that you smile every time you look at him/her.

FOUR:
You would do anything to see him/her.

THREE:
While you have been reading this, there was a person in your mind all the time.

TWO:
You've been so busy thinking of that person that you didn't notice that number SEVEN is missing.

ONE:
You are going to check above if that's true and now you are silently laughing to yourself.

p/s: guess what is inside SEVEN???

Management Course...

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."


After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.


The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.

"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"



Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prev! ent avoidable exposure.



Lesson 2:


A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forc! ing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest removed! his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.!
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.



Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says! the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, w! ithout a care in the world."
Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."

Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."


Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4


An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.




Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree" sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.


Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..



Lesson 6


A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him..

As the fro! zen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, t! he cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

Stresssss Management!

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience,
Raised a glass of water and asked;
'How heavy is this glass of water?'

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.'

He continued,
'And that's the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
As the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
We won't be able to carry on. '

'As with the glass of water,
You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.
When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.'
'So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you're carrying now,
Let them down for a moment if you can.'
So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right n ow. Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.

True or False

Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false?



1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.



2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.



3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every
10 years.



4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.



5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!



6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.



7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.



8. Babies are born without kneecaps.
They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.



9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.



10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.



11. The average housefly lives for one month.



12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.



13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.



14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.



15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.



16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.



17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to
search for water.



18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without
turning their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.



19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie."



20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State Anthem.



21. Most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.



22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the
same airplane, just in case there is a crash.



23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato
can for a carburetor.



24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from
women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery.



25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.



26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green. Would it then be called Greenola?



Answers below...
TRUE OR FALSE
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ALL ARE TRUE........ .think about # 16